"...of love?" but, what about this love?

after she left, having finished describing her day with you, I sat in silence. as I sat there at the kitchen island, staring aimlessly at the lights in the distance, it hit me: there is still a small part of me that wishes things were different.

there is still a part of me that wishes you cared enough to address that message in which I poured out my honest feelings. there is still a part of me that wishes you would be willing to sit down and discuss everything in a loving, open-minded manner.

a part of me still wishes you would take a step back and truly analyze yourself...not just according to various regimens established by others that merely cause you to think you are doing so. a part of me wishes you that you told me you missed me...instead of going around and gossiping with others about the issue whenever you find it convenient.

a part of me wishes you exerted the same amount of effort and enthusiasm into communicating with me as you do in promoting this new endeavor of yours. a part of me wishes you wanted a relationship with your daughter as much as I'd like to have a relationship with my mother.

but those wishes clearly do not make the whole: all other parts of me know I have done everything I could. though I easily might have chosen to turn away completely, I've reached out to you. I've not once retaliated back at your attempts to create drama, instead choosing peace & acceptance of where you are, acceptance of what is.

and in spite of the moments of sadness that may fall upon me every so often, that is what I will keep on doing: living in peace and acceptance.

the passenger seat (call me crazy)

Creeping along the freeway. Major traffic. Pouring rain. Windshield wipers waving. Taillights glowing. Practically at a standstill here on the 405, I'm surprisingly not the least bit frustrated. I only feel united with my fellow human beings as we look ahead of us & gradually make our way through the storm.

"always"

stoppin' to smell the roses;

making prayers out of dandelions

the wind whistles through my hair

higher self // the answer lies within

you alone

have sent me here

you alone

know my purpose

you alone

know the path

oh great Wisdom,

guide me through this life

"if you want it, say it loud"

from this moment on, I intend to keep flowing through the present, following where & how my intuition leads me. no more overthinking:

just listening to the whispers of my soul & being here

...now.

an uncommon, saturday-evening-sight

as the sun sets over a sparkling, crystal-clear ocean & sinks into distant, violet clouds, the birds make their way home. I have never seen so many at one time...hundreds & hundreds of birds. and they keep flying...farther & farther from view until what have now become tiny specks seem to disappear altogether.

from the "left" portion of the sky, more and more birds appear & continue flying in the same direction. I start to find that this pattern is repeating itself as endless amounts of birds keep on appearing...a never-ending cycle.

though each bird may be unique & individual in comparison to all the others, together they make ONE FLOCK. and though all fly at their own paces & in their own ways (some more gracefully than others), every single bird is journeying toward the same destination; in time, each one of them will ultimately disappear into that brilliant, setting sun.

what i've learned

If you want something, don't say "I want." Say, "I'll have."
If you want to be happy, don't say "I wish." Say, "I'll be."

If you want to change, stop talking about it.

Make a decision and do it.

But first, make sure it's what you--not society or the opinion of others--truly want & know is best for you.