"this is how...shine"

you saw me.

you were the first, but I now understand that you weren't what woke me up. your presence...that undeniable connection definitely played a part: it was the final push toward a new beginning. but it wasn't everything. that start was the result of years of change and growth. yes, you helped. you were vital...necessary. and you continued to teach me even when you'd leave on and off...without trying, without knowing. each day brought more and more. but still--in spite of your presence and aid--the awakening was a matter of self-discovery.

you saw me.

my eyes were opened & we seemed to see together, but slowly the colors became even brighter. and I felt so alone. you hurt me without trying...more than I think you'll ever know. as I came into myself and saw the beauty all around, my love grew deeper. as my awareness expanded, so too did the intensity of my feelings. but still--in spite of the wrongs you committed and the pain I couldn't control--I have no regrets about anything. this all happened exactly the way it was supposed to.

you saw me.

day and night, you absorbed my thoughts, my dreams. for so long, I waited for the moment we would see from the same perspective. I wanted you to feel and embrace the light: together and within. but now, we no longer view the world in all the same colors. we face the difficulties in different ways.

I see now.

this is a freer kind of love. I can separate what you gave me and my care for you from my false hopes and uncontrollable emotions. we have different purposes, different challenges. you have to go through what life brings you, just as I have to go through what life brings me. but still--I want you to know--I will always be here.

I've just stopped waiting.