observations on a recurrent theme

After English class the other day, as I was copying down some quotes I'd enjoyed from Mrs. Dalloway into my journal, something suddenly dawned on me.

This "disillusionment" we refer to (and have been the past several years) when discussing the modernists...we often brush it aside as some sort of negative viewpoint, an unfortunate result of World War I, etc. And true, it isn't exactly positive. But disillusionment in itself holds an an incredible amount of truth.

The dictionary definition:
"The act of freeing from an illusion, or the state of being freed therefrom."

How interesting. The definition is clearly not pessimistic; in fact, it is quite.. positive. To be "freed." And yet, without saying so, in our discussions, we often paint "disillusionment" in a negative light. We seem to categorize it as the equivalent of "depressed." And yes, they have similarities and overlap...but you cannot see it solely in this way.

The "disillusioned" see the truth. But it is this immense clarity that has "depressed" them, overwhelmed them to the point they must trade their pain for numbness.

Though I plan on keeping my optimism and ideals, I think we can all learn something from the "disillusioned."

"One cannot bring children into a world like this. One cannot perpetuate suffering, or increase the breed of these lustful animals, who have no lasting emotions, but only whims and vanities, eddying them now this way, now that...human beings have neither kindness, nor faith, nor charity beyond what serves to increase the pleasure of the moment. They hunt in packs. Their packs scour the desert and vanish screaming into the wilderness. They desert the fallen. They are plastered over with grimaces."

leave well enough alone

onefewmostknowsamepresence

there comes a point:

the hiding
is tiring,

and not enough
is too much.

cosmic truth

The words are yours,

but they are also hisherstheirs.

generations
upon generations

cultures
upon cultures

lifetimes upon lifetimes,
the words belong to all of us.

mixed-up dialogue

they're here?

no.

there. here.

INTERIM

It's only been a year, but I'm thirsting again.

For what? I'm not exactly sure. I just know that I am. There is so much now, and for that I am incredibly grateful.

But tonight I realized that in spite of it all, something's missing.

what I really learned in physics

a plane needs a curve in each wing so it can fly.

we need the curves, the bends of life, in order to do more than simply exist.

it's alright,
it's okay.

a plane goes up,
and it goes down.

so do we.

we'll get through this. and if you need me, I'll be here to help with the lift.

unbound

everything appears easy
in retrospect

everything makes sense
in retrospect

but retrospect is not reality
and in the now, things are never that clear

surrounded

falling rocks rattle

forgotten music

a crow, a bark
in the distance

barren, covered
parts and wholes

forgotten music