Monday, July 26, 2010

"this is how...shine"

you saw me.

you were the first, but I now understand that you weren't what woke me up. your presence...that undeniable connection definitely played a part: it was the final push toward a new beginning. but it wasn't everything. that start was the result of years of change and growth. yes, you helped. you were vital...necessary. and you continued to teach me even when you'd leave on and off...without trying, without knowing. each day brought more and more. but still--in spite of your presence and aid--the awakening was a matter of self-discovery.

you saw me.

my eyes were opened & we seemed to see together, but slowly the colors became even brighter. and I felt so alone. you hurt me without trying...more than I think you'll ever know. as I came into myself and saw the beauty all around, my love grew deeper. as my awareness expanded, so too did the intensity of my feelings. but still--in spite of the wrongs you committed and the pain I couldn't control--I have no regrets about anything. this all happened exactly the way it was supposed to.

you saw me.

day and night, you absorbed my thoughts, my dreams. for so long, I waited for the moment we would see from the same perspective. I wanted you to feel and embrace the light: together and within. but now, we no longer view the world in all the same colors. we face the difficulties in different ways.

I see now.

this is a freer kind of love. I can separate what you gave me and my care for you from my false hopes and uncontrollable emotions. we have different purposes, different challenges. you have to go through what life brings you, just as I have to go through what life brings me. but still--I want you to know--I will always be here.

I've just stopped waiting.

Friday, July 23, 2010


a burning candle floats center and holds its orange glow for a few moments, then disappears into darkness.

shifting shapes, shifting space.

shanti, shanti; you are infinite.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

a taste

started to feel
bits and pieces

of what it's like
on the other side

Saturday, July 17, 2010


A month or so ago I wrote something along the lines of, "Underneath it all, we choose the way we want to feel." And I wanted to expand on that thought. While we have no control over how someone or something may affect us, we do have the amazing ability to choose our ultimate reactions. Without consciously realizing it, we usually find it easiest to respond with anger/sadness to something that hurts us. We hold on to these feelings. They become a part of us. And though this kind of response is indeed tempting, there are other options: recognition and acceptance.

Feel your emotion--be it anger, frustration, bitterness, envy, regret, sadness...anything. Recognize it. And let it flow through you. Sit with it. Then, when you're ready, let it go. And feel the freedom.

Accept the entire situation as a necessary lesson...start to see what the experience taught you or perhaps understand that you may not realize the lessons till later. This option, when acted upon daily, allows for a kind of inner peace and joy that cannot be broken, no matter how intense our feelings may be.

Monday, July 12, 2010


Each of us has been hurt in some way. Each of us has experienced deep pain. Our stories may be different, but--when it comes down to it--we are all just tiny, broken pieces of a marvelous, GIGANTIC puzzle.

Next time you feel alone, remember: we are one (and this puzzle would never be complete without your past, your present...YOU).

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


that last flick of the switch
led to a darkness unlike anything I'd ever seen.

my darkest night
and a sound so final.

the right choice isn't always the easiest.

Thursday, July 1, 2010


how did I not see it till now?

speeding down the freeway;
head out the window. lights. dark blue.

it's that evening sky that told me;
the higher self spoke and all was clear.

it's okay to love and let be.