Thursday, November 16, 2017

the night is young

your existence,
your way

of being

my heart

with gratitude.

your existence,
your way

of hearing

a chord

full of harmony.

i want
to sing;

to skip,
and frolic.

thank you,
thank you;

thank you, dear sir. 

Friday, October 20, 2017

Breezeblocks //// Boats & Birds

Presently it's pouring rain on my end. Hard drops pound on the rooftop of what was--once upon a time--a sky blue sanctuary, a safe home: ample air, open space, and breathing room to tend to a fluid and vital life force... a flourishing period of reclamation, six years overdue. 

And yet... 

That sacred space of warm, bright light became twisted--disastrously and wrongfully plunged into a sick devil's playground. A freezing place of control, manipulation, isolation, and suffocation.

I can now hear the familiar comfort of that distant train whistle ...but am nevertheless disheartened to realize how much colder it feels now in this bed. 

Wait for it.

It was indeed a beautiful letdown when I crashed and burned. Spinning and falling all the way back to the ground, something has shifted--baptizing my mind with room to breathe. A beacon of clarity reveals itself, smiling knowingly. 

Various memories flood inward rapidly--returning, rushing, and bursting forth: each one so very simple and so very obvious, one can't help but laugh. In fact, the grotesque, invasive toxicity has evaporated...been purged from the scene. 

Oh, what joy! What gladness. 

My own intricate and ever-so lovely, lonely breed of darkness is lit again as in days long past. Sparks fly: the wild fire of youth assumes its rightful place and some semblance of a home. 

Thank you for being exactly who and what you are. In so doing you hold a whimsical, crystal-clear mirror that reflects an open field out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing. Immensely grateful to have met you there. To be honest, I gotta admit Rumi may wanna reconsider his words; I am beyond pleased and pleasantly surprised to discover that the phrase "each other" seems like it may make sense after all.

Sunday, January 11, 2015

a secret chord

tonight i was home alone for an hour and a i sang. i walked around the house, singing as loudly as i wanted. no inhibitions. even belting at points. i honestly haven't sung that way--with such freedom,  joy, and devotion--since early 2011. yes, i've been home alone plenty of times throughout the years (sometimes even for days). of course, i sang aloud as much as i wanted; it has just never been as special as this. before i felt inspired to begin, it was already set to a playlist of songs that mean the most to me.

every lyric is what i feel.
every lyric is truth.

every lyric, every note is prayer.

// I see a light shine now.

Saturday, January 3, 2015

breath of the heart //

"There's only two mistakes that I have made: it's running from the people who could love me best and trying to fix a world that I can't change."

It's amazing how much the above lyric resonates with me and sums up much of the past five years of my life.

I am thankful to say that I am reconnecting with whom I ran away from. And the good news is--in spite of the fact that I can't take it upon myself to feel responsible for the world--I can make a difference every day. I can't try to force change upon anyone or control situations in hopes for beneficial results; I can work on myself and perhaps influence others in the process.

I can contribute to the natural, inevitable process of change by sending out love and positive energy on a daily basis. Simply being my true self and living from a state of balanced inner peace in all situations is what gives me the chance to contribute to the world's healing and our evolution.

So I will.

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

"Become what you are."

This year has been pivotal. I feel like I've truly grown in massive amounts. I can consciously sense significant difference, glancing over where I was last year around this same time. So much has become more clear. It sounds cliche, but I legitimately feel much wiser than even just a year ago.

I have developed better relationships with loved ones. I have come out of my shell and no longer feel the need to isolate myself so much. I needn't fear opening my heart. I have and will always hold such love for our planet and all that are on it...I am so grateful that I'm not afraid.

I've tasted fire, I'm ready to come alive...I'm ready now. Cause every day, a choice is made. Every day I choose my fate.

I'm so grateful. This year is the year. 2014 was the necessary calm after the storm. Smooth.

2015 is the year things start moving... everything is starting. The pieces will continue coming together. I am so guided and protected. I shall now make "resolutions," which are essentially what I've been making lists of in my journal for a while now...

constant introspection, awareness and objectivity, attunement with Self, maintaining a clean living environment, more running, more yoga, more stretching, more sauna time, more water drinking, more hydration, more attention to food, more time spent cooking, more time spent praying, more time spent meditating, more reading, tons more reading on my passions and interests for my life's pursuits, more writing, more singing, more joy, more remembrance, more time spent in nature, more love and conscious attention to energy, more independence, more gratitude, more growth, more Presence: standing up for myself.

Every day, the world is made a chance to change...I'm ready now: forever, Now.

Thursday, December 25, 2014

streets of gold // turn the tide

as i ran, i listened;
as i listened, i felt.

i reached the end,
and made my way to the corner:

we are here to love each other, serve each other, and uplift each other.

as i stood, i listened;
as i listened, i heard.


the wind turbulent,
yet restorative--

gusts so strong,
nearly forcing me to the ground.

but i just stood there,
holding on--

gripping the fence
with both hands:

grounded, protected, and at peace.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

|| so: 20999, 20330 ||

It's good to be alive.

I am so happy.
and I am so grateful
--to be here, right now.

amidst the pain, the loss, the suffering, the confusion;
amidst the comfort, the memories, the joy, the clarity.

amidst it all.

// Stranded in the streams without a branch to rescue me and pull me from the tormenting. Will I die here in the water? I closed my eyes so I could see; then there grew a tree from my belief.  Now here I stand with two dry feetand there my past dies in the water. //

|| I am here,
and I am always ready.

This is so, so good,
and I can breathe now. ||