within you & without you

as I sit here & the night wares on, I recall yesterday's walk (crisp air, the twirling dance of leaves, and a crystal-clear sky).

The past few days I've come to realize something: I'm much quieter than I used to be. Sure, that has has always been an occasional characteristic of my personality...but this is a more definite shift. It became apparent while recently spending time with dear friends I hadn't seen in a while. There were many more moments in which I felt no desire to infuse the conversation with loud & spontaneous energy. Instead, it felt more right for me to observe & maintain a sense of calm contemplation. Again: sure, those have always been characteristics of my personality...but they've grown deeper now. I found myself having to frequently insist that I was "okay," to assure them that nothing was wrong. Part of me wishes I could better explain the reason for this change, but I know that's something I must keep within as I continue on the path.

as I sit here & the night wares on, a familiar, winter-sort of wind howls outside my window (echoing from chimney to fireplace, rustling the trees, and bringing peace).