"your mind is like blue sky"

I find that more and more, I have to remind myself not to let the storms of certain loved ones affect the blue sky within. It's hard to watch their skies, so dark and gray, as they become more and more angry with long-held grudges or various trivialities. It's hard when I see how much it hurts them, when I see the bigger picture underneath. But in spite of it all, I've managed to keep my peace and stay in-tune...beyond grateful for this guidance to remain strong.

grateful

just a week ago, a particular incident warned me not to put too much faith in strangers; however, today I was reminded that though caution is indeed necessary, I needn't lose all hope because honesty and kindness exist in even the most seemingly dire of situations.

happiness

I slowly open my eyes to find my palms lifted, facing upward against the familiar gray shadows on the ceiling. It's as if I'm seeing my hands for the first time, and I find myself in awe of the intricacy of each finger. Grateful for this newfound angle and appreciation, I proceed to slowly circle them through the air. I close my eyes once more, and this time see thousands of white specks against deep, black space: stars. I have been transported to another galaxy entirely. Whirring through the Cosmos at infinite speed, a familiar white light flickers in the distant center. As the endless space continues to envelop me, I can't help but smile: there truly are universes beneath our skin.

inside

don't let me forget,

I know this is true

don't let me forget,

my love flows from you

the rain, it pours down

though sun's peeking through

the rain, it pours down

a reminder of truth

To the woman who gypped me of my grandma's christmas money,

I knew from the second you began your rambling, detailed story that the chances of it actually being true were slim to none. A combination of common sense & intuition led me to sense that something about it all was not right.

But still, there I stood, nodding and listening as the rain poured down on you.

After "exchanging numbers," I had you look me in the eye and confirm that you were being genuine, though even then, I sensed--I knew--that the number was fake and that "genuine," you were not.

But still, there I stood, opening my journal & taking the crisp $50 bill out of its envelope.

I put it into your open palm as you gasped with relief and gratitude. You shook my hand to thank me, but I gave you a hug and wished you luck with everything. As I crossed the street, the foolishness of what I'd just done started to hit me. Why did I give you the money when from the beginning, I knew you were lying? Why did I play along and exhibit empathy for you? I think part of me wanted to believe your story, even though it couldn't have been a more obvious scam. I think part of me wanted to help you because you seemed so desperate, so strung out.

And it's strange. Yesterday, as I walked away, I calmly admitted the mistake to myself, recognizing what had just transpired as a life lesson I needed to learn. However, today, after I called your "number" and felt the full reality of the situation wash over me, I started to cry--and not because I would never get the money back. No. I could care less about the money. I cried for you and the many other troubled people who behave like you do on a daily basis. I cried as I understood the lesson I needed to learn: I can't always give people the benefit of the doubt, and I'm not going to be able to help everyone I meet along this journey; in some cases, it's necessary to say no and walk away. At times, there really is such a thing as being too nice.

a sincere desire

Sometimes, I wish I could sit down with all the people I know and tell them everything about them that is beautiful. And by "beautiful," I'm not referring to physical beauty, though oftentimes a person's physicality will glow due to the energy of the life force within. There are so many intricate pieces that make up each person...so many varying traits in personality, so many different kinds of passion and ways of expressing oneself. Everyone is so unique. Everyone has a story. Sometimes, I just want to tell everyone how much I love them.

"I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being."

center

the music swells and fills my soul, chills darting up my back and down my arms. the notes are drawn out, encapsulating the complexity of human emotion. singing fully, engaged completely....voice in-tune with presence.

Hare Raama Raama Raama, Seeta Raama Raama Raama....

"Let the river of these names take you...let yourself float in the beauty of your own heart into the ocean of love that fills all space, that ALWAYS is...that ONLY is."

highest

eyes closed

in darkness

concentration

on that beloved point

shifting patterns,

swirling, spiraling.

coming forward

from center

a twisting,

open circle.

grateful for

this shining light,

a light of peace.

sweet synchronicity

the other day after exiting a coffee shop, I made my way down the sidewalk and observed my fellow human beings. many brushed past me on their cell phones, while others would stare blankly ahead at the empty space in front of them, perhaps running through their mental "to-do lists," thinking about their destinations, or recalling past conversations. that's when I realized why it is so refreshing (albeit rare) to make eye-contact with smiling strangers. it's like connecting, if only for a second, with someone else who is awake in the dream.

after a minute or so I made it to the end of the sidewalk. while waiting for the stoplight to change so I could cross the street, I took the first, precious sip of my eggnog latte. I instantly felt the familiar spark of warmth that starts in the chest and then spreads throughout the entire body. it was right at that moment that it occurred to me how that feeling of comfort is not too different from the ever-present joy that has lately been pervading my heart, my being. in fact, they are almost identical.

so it begins

"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost."

It seems that this is going to have to become my mantra. There's no rush. Nowhere does it say that the typical route is carved in stone. I send you love & light on your journey, but please understand that we each have to discover what is best for us in our own way. In fact, what seems unwise or illogical to you may be enlightening and necessary for another.

"isn't it a pity?"

the old saying about "all paths" has never been wrong per se, but it seems to only truly apply in rare cases these days. "all paths" may lead to the same destination in the sense that each "route" holds the same basic truths. however, as a wise radical once said, the translations have gone wrong. people are looking in the wrong places, blindly accepting (maybe even rejecting) all they've ever been told.

if you feel something's missing, stop searching outside yourself or assuming that "this" or "that" will happen when you reach the supposed "end." stop thinking. stop assuming.

just be,
go deep,
and know.


"the harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few."