Thursday, February 16, 2012

don't forget to breathe

I know exactly what makes me "manic." I know what keeps me up all night. I know how to bring myself back to earth. It's just a matter of will. Sometimes I can't help but carried away by what I see and feel around me. It's then that I begin to exhibit the symptoms that always lead to increased dosages of medication. It's like I'm trapped in a labyrinth of my own creation. On the other hand, maybe I've lost all control...

On the night of my twentieth birthday, my emotions reached a boiling point. I couldn't stop sobbing. The pain was unbearable. It's nights when the loneliness hits me that I have to remember her wise words:

"Crying is working you up into a state of hysteria. In order to feel calm, you need to take some deep breaths and breathe out slowly. You know that the state of mania is not part of your soul. It's going to pass. You need to be strong, and help yourself to not be controlled by this."

[Keep your head above water, but don't forget to breathe.]

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