sad

I have a problem: Lately, I have been reliving the past over and over in my mind. And I often let my longing for the past affect the way I feel in the present. I spend too much time wishing so many things hadn't happened the way they did. It's like...I get down on myself, thinking that the last time I was actually doing anything substantial with my life was back in 2010...as if 2011 was a total waste, and now the same thing is happening with 2012. And it's hard, when I see all my friends going through their college experiences and doing so many exciting things with their lives. And then I worry about my future.

I know I shouldn't complain about where I am...I know happiness is a choice, but I can't help wishing none of this had happened to me. I can't help missing the way things used to be.

Oh, and I just realized that it's March 15th. That means it's been exactly a year since I first entered the hospital.