Sunday, January 6, 2013

and these scars will heal

Last night was "awful." I couldn't stop sobbing because of the fact that I am somehow capable of forgiving anyone (people I know & even those I don't know personally/those I see or hear of throughout the world), but I for some reason have not been able to forgive myself. I am the only person I have not been able to forgive for various reasons these past two or so years. Chelle comforted me by saying it is part of the mania and that it will pass. She definitely soothed my anxiety and panic. She reminded me not to do so.

However, though I was no longer emotional. As I was falling asleep listening to the one playlist that comforts me most, I still couldn't accept or believe that this characteristic in my manic disposition was something that needed to be remedied. But it was. I had forgotten what I'd actually realized/felt to an extreme in March 2011.

Today a friend just happened to send me "The Egg." I read it a while resonated with me deeply then, but today? Oh man. This is it. It's not too long.

I feel comforted by that story. Though I have indeed been manic and far from stable these past 2+ years, I am not crazy for feeling like I am somehow everyone at once...including various people throughout history whom I have studied. It's so...bah. I was still intellectually understanding the Law of One, but not truly understanding.

I forgot that I too am part of the One: I am I.

We are One tonight.

And Always. 

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