This is something that may sound obvious, but in actuality is much more difficult than one might think: being honest with myself and following my intuition is really freeing.
P.S. Today is this blog's fifth birthday. The first entry, "What's in the Heart of a Child" was written and posted on January 31, 2009, at 12:23pm. There's no point in pasting the whole entry, but here's something:
"It's weird. I was thinking about the past year, and I can honestly say that though a lot has indeed changed, in actuality, much has not. And as I consider my past sixteenth year and all my experiences, I've realized something. Was it not just a repeat of the year previous to it...and maybe even the one before? I'm beginning to think so.
Yes, yes it was. My life, though I am constantly growing and changing, is a mere constant...aided by a few name changes, different color schemes, and the ticking of time's clock.
I do not want this anymore. These past few months, I have started to notice something...a gap? No, that's not right. There's something in me that is thirsting, though. Though I think part of me has known it all along, I really can't ignore it anymore or brush it aside. The simple fact is that so much of me is yearning, wanting to live. wanting to love. wanting to experience what's real, and not this continual monotony."
From that moment onward, the "continual monotony" I spoke of indeed stopped taking place. And those yearning wishes were granted. I never could have imagined how they'd all end up taking place...but everything did. In its own unbelievable, crazy, blessed, and beautiful way.
I ended that first entry with words from the intro of the song that gave this blog its name. And now, five years later, I shall conclude with the song's final lines. But they don't imply an ending. Instead, they set the stage for an unceasing, eternal beginning:
"And all shall fade
The flowers of spring
The world and all the sorrow
At the heart of everything.
But still it stays:
The butterfly sings
And opens purple summer
With the flutter of its wings
And all shall know the wonder...
I will sing The Song of Purple Summer.