I care about people. I really do.
I empathize with almost everyone. I feel things from each person I encounter, getting vibes about who they are and what they've gone through or sometimes even how they're feeling at that moment.
I take pride in this special gift of observation.
I want so badly to help people. To offer them insight. I feel like I have so much to offer.
Why, then, is this so often from a distance? How can I have such a genuine love of humans, but feel a constant need to isolate myself?
(Not that seclusion is bad; I need alone time to think and reflect..)
Why is it that in FAMILIAR social situations I come across as a person different from the me in my head? That doesn't make a bit of sense. Then, in more unfamiliar situations, where I feel uncomfortable, my need to be isolated is of course, more clear.
Overall, there are people who have blatantly incorrect views of me, and there are some who indeed know some true parts. However, I don't think the majority of people I come across in my daily life have any idea of who I am. Even those close to me.
It's not their fault though.
Even I puzzle myself.
It's just...sometimes I wish I didn't feel so disconnected. It can get hard living in my head, in a world no one could ever understand.
Being 'different' has its blessings and curses, I suppose.
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i don't really understand why you would distance yourself--you're a really great person!--but maybe you are afraid of being misunderstood like this, like maybe if you lay off their view of you won't shift.
ReplyDeletebut thanks to misunderstandings, questions and goals and miracles exist. think about it that way. <3 there are some people who are brave enough to go up to you and ask those questions, and then there are those who stick with assumptions. not a good idea, yes? that's why you need to stop isolating yourself and ask questions and make statements or else nothing will change.
i can't say i follow this myself, but you can! however, there will always be people who have the wrong views about you, so don't stress over it too much. haha, and you don't have to take my advice, i'm no expert or whatever.
but great post! very relatable.
There are times when I think that you're me.
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