i've also been trying to look past the current impact on my physical appearance and take solace in the fact that in the future, i'll be able to "heal" the way i'd like...in a holistic way. the sideffects of this so-called "medicine" go to show how unnatural it all really is. there are other ways out there. it's just that the majority have chosen not to pursue them further.
sometimes, i think that my "purpose" may have something to do with taking my experience and not only helping others with their situations, but working to change the current paradigm. but for now, all i can do is focus on today...one step at a time.