found an old journal entry:
the sun is out!
well, it was while I went on a walk just now. It'd been gone for a while. this can be taken literally and metaphorically as well, in regards to how I'd been feeling the past few days.
today, more particular--this afternoon, I'd been in a strange mood. It was an..unusual type of tired, you could say. But...I wasn't really TIRED. I felt like someone drew a circle in my chest and somehow, a ball of energy and enthusiasm was sucked from that very spot. in the car--eyes closed--I kept my iPod on and the hood of my gray, 'spirit sweatshirt' over my head. i like the way the music streamed into my ears and thoughts as I could feel the car's wheels rolling, moving. my mom dropped off caterina first from carpool and had to continue on with the others and then take Brennan to swim practice. she was going to drop me off, but I was just like...hey, I'll walk home from here. I have my key. so, I grabbed my black backpack...slipped it through both arms, grabbed my iPod, and unwrapped the 'organic lemon lollipop: trader joe's brand' that Laura had randomly given me as I walked past her locker a bit earlier.
Listening to "Songs for a New World," I took my own sweet time with each step. I saw the trees slightly moving in the wind. The clouds moving horizontally across a much bluer sky than I'd seen these past few days, or at least that I'd been aware of. leaves rustling across my feet. cars driving past, people before my eyes. flowers moving as well. fresh air rushing across me. every so often, i'd stop at a corner and observe. different angles. moving straight ahead and then turning right, i continued on directly in front of me. as the music of the final song started to build, I threw away the stick of the now-empty lollipop into the black trashcan to the side of me and started to speed up my pace.
look at the sky.
skip some more.
it all perfectly matched to the last step.
"Hear my song.
It'll help you believe in tomorrow
Hear my song.
It'll show you the way you can shine
Hear my song.
It was made for the times when you don't know where to go.
Listen to the song that I sing;
You'll be fine."
I missed the sun.