things have been really weird. well, no. just the opposite. really...synchronistic. so much has taken place in just these past three days. stuff that's been kept swept under the rug for over half of my life has broken free, finally out to the surface. it's time to sort through so much. and the beautiful part of it all is i'm in a state of balance and aware of the strength within--which means i am able to experience all of this in a healthy manner. making amends is one of the most important things i've ever done.
it's difficult, because there are so many different stories and pieces and aspects of my story. it's easy to throw blame on someone, but it's just as easy to remember that all three of these people have helped me and loved me just as strongly as their "wrongs" that have negatively affected me. i also am grateful to be learning that while i know not to blame someone else, it's vital not to brush aside the involvement of others. it's still important to recognize how they influenced me and how my reactions to what i've experienced shaped what i've gone through and who i am today. it's beautiful because while knowing this, i can still continue to accept full responsibility for all my reactions to my experiences. this sort of freedom is a blessing that i am grateful to cultivate. and then there's all the special synchronicity and unplanned connections to my past that have been following me. the little (though actually quite large in significance) signs that are sometimes so blatant i can't help but laugh in amazement.
working to minimize the ego's futile (though debilitating) attempts to control Being, i remember to flow through the present. i let my intuition guide me from moment to moment. today was a great return.