release

I literally have not taken off my amethyst necklace since I got it in July--not even when showering or sleeping. That means I've had it against my chest and scar for almost half a year. It gives me a sense of comfort and protection, for which I'm so grateful. A a week ago, in a dream, my parents told me to take it off. I can't remember any other specifics of the dream. Although I remember how awful that made me feel, I don't remember taking it off. It'd sadly be safe to assume I listened to them, but for some reason part of me thinks I didn't.

I actually woke up that morning thinking it had all been real. I was relieved and when I looked down to find it still there. When it comes to its deeper meaning, I think that dream goes to show a lot about my feelings these days. I have a general idea, but I've never been the best at interpreting my dreams. I can, however, feel when they are an especially significant reflection--and dramatic emphasis--of things that plague my mind and emotions.

Interestingly enough, a couple days after that dream last week, I found the silver chain necklace that I used to wear continuously back in 2011. When I found it after getting home from the hospital at the end of that March, I hid it underneath old letters in the back of my nightstand drawer. I associated it with that day and never wanted to see it again. But I'm glad I kept it instead of throwing it away like I did with so many other items that meant a lot to me. I guess some part of me knew I didn't truly want or need to let go of it because of the way it gave me a sense of comfort--just as my amethyst has now been doing. I, once again, now have this necklace around my neck too. Over two years later, it has joined the amethyst and the two of them together serve as a security blanket of sorts. When my emotions begin to take hold over me and I start getting worked up, anxious, or sad, I close my eyes with one hand around the silver and the other around the amethyst.

The silver necklace chain contains a circle with an open, engraved outline of a dragonfly in the center. It reads "Memories" above the dragonfly and "Blessing Ring" beneath it. On the opposite side of the circle, the words "Remember When" lie underneath the dragonfly in a smaller font. The amethyst is held by a wax chain, in between ten beads--most small and purple, the other two larger and dark brown. It is wrapped and centered by copper wire made up of three tiny spirals.

I intend on never again taking them off... that is, until the time comes to get both new chains.