water

I wanted to write about this last weekend, but forgot to do so until just now when I realized I wanted to go downstairs to get a glass of water. Anyway. I'll make this short, even though I originally wanted to make this post more explanatory. So, I saw Catching Fire with my dad and Brennan over the weekend, and there's a scene in which the characters are beyond dehydrated having had no water for god knows how long. And then Haymitch sends Katniss a tool where she can attach it to a tree and it pours out water (or is it sap? I know nothing about how that works). So in the scene, you see the characters each drink from it...and it's intense to see how badly they needed the water. I'd normally plan out my words to make this more coherent, but I'm not feeling up for that. This will have to suffice. ANYWAY. When I was watching it, I like...literally started feeling their response and relief. I don't like writing too much about myself when it comes to the accident and stuff, but I will say this now because that's why I'm writing this blog entry. Just...seeing their gratitude and the intensity of their relief while they were drinking the water. I mean, for anyone it was a super powerful scene to watch. But I realize that it perfectly captured how I used to feel in the ICU when they wouldn't let me drink water because of reasons...I forget why. I mean, it's all significant having to do with the tons of cables and the trach and everything. But like...Heck, I barely remember much from the ICU aside from a few select instances (and everything is vague and fuzzy) and certain emotions and thoughts. But the strongest memory and physical feeling of pain I have from ICU and my second hospital room is thirst. I can remember how upset I'd be when I'd ask for just one sip of water, and the nurse would say "No, you'll have to wait til this time." And she'd write the time with a white board marker across from me. And it was like every hour at one point. I remember the immense relief I could feel whenever I'd get to take a precious sip or sometimes two. I can't really find the right words for this at the moment. As I said, I'm not putting time and effort into making this super coherent. Hopefully it gets the idea across.

Anyway, I've told some people (and I personally think about frequently) how that whole experience really opened my mind to how blessed we are to have the access to liquid that we do. And not just any liquid or any water, but clean, purified water. I mean, that's something I always understood and could appreciate. But now it's something I think about a lot. And I try, every time I am drinking a liquid, to send out gratitude. I know I'll never forget that feeling of intense desperation and craving for thirst. I've never experienced anything like that. Water was the only thing I could think about it.  Okay, this has been enough rambling. I wanted this blog entry to be thoughtful and more insightful, but I've been putting it off for some reason and decided to just write stream of consciousness style. So, there you have it.